The Pizza Diet, Yoga, Porn Shops and Would-Be Shadiness at a non-Bocce Bocce Bar

December 29, 2008 – Nicole’s Food Log

Not that I’ve eaten fewer than 2500 calories in forever, but today was another fabulous day… made worse by the kid brother’s desire to make Dijourno pizza for breakfast… or lunch… depending on what you call waking up at 10:30 and making pizza before you go to practice.

Following my pizza… chased with mac and cheese baby, I hit my first yoga class in a very long time. Probably second ever if I think real hard, actually.

The yoga class wasn’t too bad. I went with my friend Anita from high school and – other than my chronic inflexibility – it went well.

But the best thing about the yoga class wasn’t the class itself, it was the journey there. You see, this particular yoga studio is located in the Oregon District… home to many a bar and, well, lots and lots of porn shops.

In fact, as I got directions, they went something like: “Drive down 5th Street and then there’ll be a side street to park right before the Goodwill. It’ll be right across from a porn shop with a giant marquee. There will be a few before you get to that, but you’ll recognize it when you see it.”

It was my mother, however, who gave me the best advice of all: “Whatever you do, DO NOT park in the porn shop parking. They have people who constantly check those spots and you’ll be towed after five minutes.”

Um, ok. Silly me (who clearly hasn’t been to Oregon in awhile and doubts I’ve ever driven myself) thought “Well, OF COURSE I’m not going to park in the porn lots. How stupid does she think I am?”

Uh, yeah, the porn shops own half the District which means that there is almost NOWHERE to park that won’t involve towing. So I learned after approaching several spots that I then had to back right out of.

After yoga, Anita and I decided to go visit a place called the “Bocce Sports Grille.” (For those Daytonites reading, it’s at the old Shuckin’ Shack on Main Street.)

Clearly being more than a little stupid, we both thought that a “Bocce Sports Grille” would involve a bocce court which we thought would be fun to see… or at least worth a good laugh.

Imagine our surprise when we walk in and this place is clearly HALF the size of the Shuckin’ Shack. And there’s not a soul there.

So we get seated and Anita asks about Bocce courts. Without missing a beat, the waitress clearly says “No, no bocce courts” as in “Why would there be bocce courts? Or anything in the entire bar related to bocce? Just because the place is called the Bocce Sports Grille?”

Silly us.

Then Anita starts chatting with the waitress and we discover that the reason the place looks so small (uh, nevermind the creepy empty factor) is that there’s a “private club” in the other half of the building.

No one will clarify what “private club” means, but people are clearly showing some kind of card to get in.

Ever optimistic Anita suggests that maybe it’s a smoking bar since smoking is now allowed only in private places in the DYT. RIIIIGGGGHHHTTTT… I have a list of suggestions, but probably won’t mention most of them here.

Though we remained the only customers for all of two hours, I must say they make tasty pizza and cheese fries…

Breakfast
Bagel (260)
Margarine (50)
Cream Cheese (30)

Snack
Piece of Dijourno (232)

Lunch
Mac and cheese (780)
Mayo (40)
Piece of Dijourno (232)

Snack
Piece of Dijourno (232)
*HEY… It’s GOOD STUFF PEOPLE!!!

Workout: 1 hour yoga (150 calories)

Dinner
Cheese fries (500?)
Pizza (800?)

Total Calories: 3156

Weight: 72.5kg