I Hear Voices

Little confession: I hear voices. Not the kind that warrant a hug me jacket and a trip to the State Hospital. Alas, at least handfuls of lithium could help with that.

No, instead I hear voices of friends, familiy, nemeses.

Ever see the cartoons where the guy has a little angel and a little devil on his shoulders yakking at him? That's kinda what it's like.

So occassionally I feel the urge to reply to some of Heather's comments, but get busy. That said, it's snowing outside and I'm lazy, so here goes...

In one of the early blogs, Heather decided to describe me as something to the effect of ''Talllll, apple-shaped and skinniest legs of anyone she knows.''

Let's clarify a few things: I'm not that tall... it just looks that way from Heather's perch. (haha... ) Actually, I'm around 5'11. Not ridiculously tall, but just big enough that I loathe buying pants and have been known to hand my last $100 over to the folks at The Buckle to find jeans that fit. (Hey... no scoffing! There are no 35 inch jeans at Kohl's people.)

The apple-shaped thing is right on and seems to be a bit of a losing battle as the smallest I've ever been is 137 (freshman and sophomore year at OU) which sounds tiny, but really amounted to be about a size 9 with a pony keg belly, so I'm mildly afraid that the bikini body concept, could be a lost cause. But i'm trying anyway!

As for the leg thing... they're kinda like drumsticks. Joey used to call them chicken legs in high school and that's kinda accurate. They're kinda plump up top and then I have no calves.

But it's this final item that brings me back to hearing voices. So I thought I'd share with Heather that it's been years since we've made a trip to Ping (our fabulous rec center at OU), but I still remember the day when you followed some shot on the bird legs with ''But can they press 300lbs, cause I can do the whole stack.''

And, nearly 10 years later, that's still the voice I hear every time I get on the leg press machine.

At this point I'd like to say that's provided me so much motivation I can plop 300 on that bad boy with the greatest of ease.

Uh yeah, I'd be a liar if I said I'd even put 200 on the damn thing, but it does help me knock out the rest of a set when my legs start to whimper and whine. :o)

And in the spirit of Thanksgiving, for that, Heather, I thank you.

(Oh, and some day I really will crank the thing up to 300 at which point i'll youtube you the video. Followed by footage of my trip to the hospital and my subsequent wheelchair! Hahaha...)